you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize