We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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