Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
