so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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