Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize