We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
