Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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