what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize