I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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