you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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