guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize