That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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