its not stalking. its research.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
last night I used snow as a chaser
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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