Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
