just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
