Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
