is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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