Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
