i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have feelings that need drinking.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
