spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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