I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
