She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
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I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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