I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize