meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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