I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
