maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
