The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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