the condom got lost in my hair
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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