i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i died would you start the facebook group?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
