whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
