And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
