I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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