Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
