just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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