you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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