We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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