I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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