She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
P.S. I can't hear my feet
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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