You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
