He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
