sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
