Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
