I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
