I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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