Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
