Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
