so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize