found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
