Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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