hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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