She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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