I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
