i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
