so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
