I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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