If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
